If You Can't Understand...

If you can't understand, what anyone says, what anyone does, what anyone feels, what anyone hopes...


Don't dissect us.

Don't then pretend to understand.

Because no matter how hard you try,

You'll never understand what goes on inside of our minds.


Never.

Don't Judge Me

If I can't find my voice because I'm too scared to speak,
Don't judge me.
If I can't move because it feels like I'm tied to the spot,
Don't judge me.
If I can't swallow the tears back long enough to make eye contact,
Don't judge me.
If my voice is too loud when I don't mean it to be,
Don't judge me.
If I don't want to come because I know it'll make me cry harder,
Don't judge me.
If I'm being indesisive because I don't know what question you're asking,
Don't judge me.
If I can blog it better than I can say it,
Don't judge me.

Big Red Button

This is probably not the most formal and/or orthodox way to tell my parents that I'm bisexual, but there you have it. It just seems like the easiest way to me at the moment. But this isn't the hard part. The hard part is the big red button staring me in the face. Well, to be more specific, it's a long-ish orange button with the words "Publish Post" in all caps, just to make it all the more intimidating.

So here I go, scared shitless (as my grandma would say).

The hard part.

For Those Of You...

For those of you that have been reading this blog, I just want to let y'all (I love that word.) know that I've started a homeschooling blog as well. Of course I will still be posting on this one, because this one is a personal outlet for when I have writers block and need to post something for the purpose of posting something. 

Anywho, back to the point. I will put a link to the new blog at the end of this post. Which, I suppose, is here.

http://theun-we.blogspot.com/

Fantasy Living

I know that people need conflict to survive, but why does there have to be so much of it? I mean, why can't people think of life like a fairy tale? People die in fairy tales, people are flawed in fairy tales, but people are also alive, there are children who are happy, and the unique side of all of them is fleshed out a lot of the time. My point being, that maybe real life isn't so different from a fairy tale after all. There may even be magic outside of stories, except that, gradually, we forget and unlearn how to believe in the magic when there are so many bad things in the world. But that's the thing; there are many good things in the world as well. Protagonist and antagonist, in a sense. They both need each other, otherwise they aren't what they are.

Sometimes it amazes me; the fact that people can complain about both having too much snow, and global warming all in the same day. If I were in a worse mood, I'd call it hypocritical. But I'm not, so I won't. Instead, I'm thinking of it as oddly ironic, a theme for my observation.
Of course, I can see the other side of the argument, too; that's my job as a writer. I know how hard it can be to have to hack at the ice in the back yard to clean up the three dogs' worth of poop, and I can see how the investments to slow or stop global warming can be a huge change to make in a daily routine.
But nothing has to be all bad.

And then there are the "end of the world" stories. My personal favorite is the Terminator version; destroy ourselves through technology. My favorite villain is Maleficent. Even I, who is writing a blog post about looking at the bright side, I, who is almost never doing that myself, I, who is trying to improve. Even I have a soft spot for dark things somewhere in my heart. I think everyone does at some point. As well as everyone has light. Well, here I go again; fascinated by the whole theme of Kingdom Hearts.

Before I leave everyone hanging on my classic, oh so anticipated words, I'd like to say this:
Live the fairy tale. Defy your mind set. Think inside of the polygon.

RE: Assignment

Okay, so that last post was a bit of a joke. The whole story is that my dad gave me an assignment to post on my blog about the fact that I'm homeschooled (I have no idea how to spell that; one word? Two? Gah.). 

The first part of the sentence--This morning my dad gave me an assignment--brings up the question, "Assignment?", because parents don't usually give assignments to their children because that's the school's job.

The second part of the sentence--to post on my blog--grants the wish for me to post. See? I love myself. :)

On with the assignment then...

Homeschooling is pretty fun, I guess I could say, because it's not all about getting a passing score so that you can move on with your life. That shouldn't be what school is about. School should be about learning, and not studying so that you can forget what you studied right after a test. That's what homeschooling (or at least the way that I'm being homeschooled) is based on; learning through exposure, experience, observance, a plethora of resources, and a good teacher that knows what he/she is doing. And because I have been supplied all of these things, learning is actually fun for a change. 

In regular school, in the middle of the school year, they took writing out of the daily activities. It was a bit absurd, I will admit, since they took it out of the Language Arts class. A few people were aloud to write for five minute periods, which, of course, had to be the amount of time that inspiration hits. Sure, you get to write a couple of sentences, and if you're a fast typer, a paragraph or two, until you get booted off. And one last thing; the computers were PC's. The full on, huge clunky monitor that buzzes constantly, a pop out keyboard which every other key sticks on, a fairly sticky and slightly unclean mouse, and the occasional security warning. You know, the ones that make writing nearly impossible and improbable? At least it let me write on it, considering how highly I insult the classic PC's. 

Considering everything else that I didn't put in the paragraph above, Language Arts was my favorite class. So thus, reading and writing in the warmth of my own home is part of the wonderful curriculum that I follow.

We also try to get out of the house and observe people, go to museums, rent an educational video, do math as much as we can (which is used quite often outside of school, as you'll notice.), and just put everything we can into my head with it staying inside.

There 'tis. 

Assignment

This morning, my dad gave me an assignment to post on my blog.